Friday, November 25, 2011

Thankful: On my knees

My Thanksgiving Babes

I realize this is a day late, but when you have screaming babies to deal with all night on Thanksgiving, sometimes the things you hope to get done, just don't get done. So, here it is, my blog of gratitude.

When I reflect on what I'm thankful for, I'm sure I could, like the rest of you, come up with an extremely long list. I could have listed what I was thankful for every day in November on Facebook like the rest of the world, but that seems so trivial to me. It's not that I don't appreciate things like family, food, friends, a warm house, etc. However, on Thanksgiving I want to take the time to really reflect on what it is that I'm thankful for. What, over the past year, still sticks with me as something so great and wonderful that it can only come from God? The things that stick out to me this year are 2 things that literally brought me to my knees before God.

5 years ago, I found myself on my knees praying for healing for my mom. She had been on a long journey battling cancer for many years, and it seemed as though the last resort was a stem-cell transplant. We prayed for it to work, knowing this was the only option we had left to help stop the cancer. I found myself on my knees before God many, many times asking for healing for my mom. Promising to do anything he wanted me to do if he would just heal her. Praying for a successful stem-cell transplant. I remember after she had it, the doctors said that if she could make it 3 years cancer-free after the transplant, things were looking good. If she could make it 5 years, she would be considered cured from cancer. It seemed like that was so far away and unheard of at the time. Well, this past week marked the 5-year anniversary of her transplant. She is still cancer free today. God is good, and this Thanksgiving I'm thanking God for healing her. I know that many people find themselves on their knees before God, asking for healing, asking for just about anything in times of desperation. I know that God doesn't always answer our prayers in the way that we intend, but instead in the way that he intends. I know that he brought me to my knees before him, and I trusted him no matter what the outcome. I know that our God is greater, that our God is higher than any other. Now that's a blessing.

Aren't those 3 blessings in the picture adorable? I know I'm biased, but on Thanksgiving, I can't help but be overwhelmed with thankfulness for these blessings. This brings me to my 2nd reason for Thankfulness this year. Soon after we found out we were pregnant with twins, we were told we were going to have mono-mono twins. This means that there was no membrane separating the girls and that there was an extremely high risk for myself, but mostly the girls. They could strangle themselves in their cords, and the pregnancy would require lots of time in the hospital on bedrest and a lot of worry and risks. After finding this out, I too, found myself on my knees before God. I struggled and fought with God, wondering how this could be a blessing. We prayed for our family to grow, and then this?!? I came to God on my knees asking him to protect those babies, praying for a miracle, praying that the doctors made a mistake, praying that everything would be okay in the end. To make a long story short, we found out several weeks later that there was in fact a membrane separating the girls. We cried when we saw the membrane. Those tears represented God's power to do anything and his provision over us. Not too long after that, the doctors found some developmental concerns with the girls on their ultrasounds. Once again, we found ourselves on our knees before God. Wondering what his plan was, wondering how we'd handle what we were given, wondering how we'd make it to the end, how we'd deal with potential problems. By the 25th week of our pregnancy, we got the clearance that everything was indeed okay with our twin girls. We knew that we wouldn't completely stop worrying until they were born, but a huge burden had been lifted. On September 29, 2011, God brought 2 PERFECT, HEALTHY, BEAUTIFUL identical twin girls into our family. Maya Grace and Makenna Anne are two precious gifts from above. God IS GOOD.

So, what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving? I'm thankful that life isn't always perfect. It seems crazy to say it, but it's true. I'm thankful that God uses difficult situations to bring us closer to him, and at the end of the journey (sometimes) we can see his plan. We might go through things and never see his plan, but we have to trust that he has it under control. When we fall upon our knees and trust God, he will bless us through the storms of life. Thank you, God, for your amazing blessings. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.

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