Tuesday, September 14, 2010

5 course meal

Yesterday was a crazy day. It began by saying bye to my Dad, who made a spontaneous trip out to MI for the weekend to visit us.... by us I mean his grandson! :) It was a fun-filled weekend, but of course Monday morning came way too quickly. I felt like I hadn't quite worked ahead as much as I would have liked to (this would have been the case even if my Dad hadn't come out, so it was definitely worth him coming! :) ), and it was going to be a busy week. I leave on Thursday for my surprise trip to NJ for my Grandma's 85th Birthday that I mentioned awhile back. I won't be in NJ very long as we'll be spending the weekend in Lancaster, PA. Anyways, trying to work ahead, play catch up, pack, and have everything in place when you leave your child home with your husband for 3 days always presents a bit of an interesting week. So, when I left my house yesterday morning to drop Kaden off at a new babysitter's house for the day, my stomach was churning with anxiety. He seemed pretty excited to go to Pat's house as we drove there- he talked about her basketball hoop, we talked about other kids that would be there, and he was pretty upbeat. Well... once we walked in the door, he screamed. Clinging to my leg, my child looked at me and wondered..."Now what, Mom!?! First, I have all of this attention from my Grandpa, Uncles, and parents all weekend, and now you leave me with a stranger?!?". Let me first say that Pat is no stranger to us. She attends our church and comes highly recommended for her in-home daycare. My anxiety was not over her, it was more over Kaden's reaction. Kaden's never cried like that for anyone when I've worked, which has made my decision to work part-time and balance being a mom, all the easier. But on Monday morning, as I drove away from Pat's house, I was bawling. I knew my son was in there screaming, I wondered how his day would be and how he would nap away from home in a strange environment, I didn't feel like I had good closure and a chance to really say goodbye as I left, I knew I wasn't fully prepared to enter my week, and I wondered why I was doing this. I've been told that I'm normal- apparently I'm not the first person to cry when they bring their child to daycare. But, needless to say, it was a rough day yesterday. Those tears were real, those feelings were real, and I just felt bad. To top it off, there were some unexpected things I had to deal with at work, which didn't help things.

Okay, breath of fresh air. Kaden had a good day at daycare, he stopped crying shortly after I left, slept, but was kind of crabby and clingy when we got home. Dinnertime didn't go very well, and again, I was right back to where I started. Andy needed to mow the lawn, and I knew we needed a diversion. So, we headed outside. I put the to-do list aside, and went outside to play with my boy for a couple of hours. We went for a nice walk, we helped daddy mow the lawn, we played in the shed, played on the swingset in the backyard, and laughed. What this little boy needed was time with his mommy. Time for him to know that his mommy still loved him, that she thinks about him when she's at work, and that she cares so deeply for this little life that it overwhelms her. As we were getting ready to come inside after a fun night of play, Kaden beckoned me to sit down on his little tikes picnic table. Not an easy thing to do as an adult, but needless to say, I managed to squeeze myself in there. He proceeded to go under his swingset, he grabbed a handful of rocks, walked all the way around his swingset, and placed the handful of rocks in front of me on the table. "Pizza, Mommy?" "Oh, you made me pizza, Kaden?" "YEAH!" he said excitedly. This continued. Back to the rocks, back to the table... many times... at least 5. Each time he returned with many "items"- yogurt, milk, skittles, bagel, and an apple. Sounds like a yummy meal to me. He even pretended to feed me the milk as he made a sipping sound and held the rock up to my mouth. Gotta' love that kid. We enjoyed our imaginative picnic, and my heart was warm again. I knew today was a new day (which went much better if you were wondering), and all was well.

Playing telephone on the swingset

My delicious meal

Kaden preparing the delicious meal

One final look at the meal- can't you just picture the milk, pizza, skittles, bagel, and apple?

My boy. I {heart} him SO much.

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